… but I just needed an outlet. But I made it a point to tell my frustrations to God before I typed this. And be careful: God speaks to you when you earnestly seek to communicate with Him.
Anyway, I was just exasperated by the numerous things that didn’t go my way. Why do I always have to give way to other people? Like, change my schedule so that others can keep theirs? Why do I say so many ‘yes’ to others, but ‘no’ to myself? I wish that I could say more nos to people and more yes to myself, but I know that it would only do me harm. I would probably end up to be the egocentric, self-absorbed, narcissistic human being who I don’t want to be (like the apathetic commuters that I witnessed in the MRT train today. I can swear that this seated lady was looking at this standing pregnant lady right in her swollen belly without flinching a muscle. Pathetic.) But when I prayed, my Abba Father only reminded me of the grace that I received this day from a sister. And that favour came because she chose to say no to her own interest while putting mine before hers.
*Sigh* Why am I not thinking more like Christ in this aspect? Right now, Philippians 2 is just stuck in my head – Humility. Consider others better than me. Look to others’ interest. Do everything without complaining or arguing.
Die, just die.