Read this in John Piper’s book Taste and See, and I was like, omg John Piper wrote this for me.
You can feel proper remorse that the ‘want to’ is very small and weak – like a mustard seed – and then, if it lies within you, do the ‘ought to’ by the exertion of the will, while repenting that the ‘want to’ is weak, and praying that the ‘want to’ will soon be restored. Perhaps it will even be restored in doing the ‘ought to’. This is not hypocrisy. Hypocrisy hides the absence of the ‘want to’ and pretends it’s there. Virtue confesses the defective desire in the hope that grace will forgive and restore.
You can seek, by the means of grace, to have God give the ‘want to’ so that when the time to do the ‘ought to’ comes, you will ‘want to’. Ultimately the ‘want to’ is a gift of God.
Yes! I must pray for the ‘want to’!