Sharings from singles support group

If you are not happy when you are single, you will not be happy when you are married.

This statement shared by a sister during the recent single sisters support group gathering caught me off guard at first hearing. But it expressed a truth that I had known: if I am not contented with what God has for me when I am single, I can never be happy when I am married because my partner cannot do or give more than God. But that is really what the world suggests. As Tom Cruise’s character whispered to his love in the movie Jerry Maguire, ‘you make me complete’, the world tries to persuade us that we will only be happy and made whole when we each have that significant other in our lives. But aren’t the children of God already complete in Christ? “You have been given fullness in Christ , who is the head over every power and authority” (Col 2:10). And don’t we have a heavenly Father who gives good gifts to us? Dare we even think that He withholds good from us? “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also along with him, graciously give us all things? (Rom 8:32)” “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadow (Jam 1:17).”

We also shared on the current priorities in our lives. As much as the priorities we expressed were pious and sensible, a sister’s disclosure also reminded us that we cannot live out those priorities by our sheer efforts. She displayed hesitation in even sharing her priorities because she did not have the confidence that she would keep to her priority of being grateful that she has the most important gift, i.e. the gift of salvation. She had been absent from church for a period of time and was still feeling unstable in her walk with God. Yet, neither can we have this confidence, just because right now we may seem to be right and well with God. We must possess the humility that only by the grace of God we are able to keep those priorities. We must come before God with fear and trembling to work out our salvation, while remembering it is God who works in us to work and to act in order to fulfil His good purpose (Phil 2:12-13).

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