“We know a lot of the Bible, but our lives remain unchanged.” That was one of the reasons shared at the meeting attended by the disciplers of the new discipleship groups (DG) on the change from Foundation class to DG structure. I couldn’t help but think if this statement describes me. I can quote verses, find Bible passages when talking about certain issues and topics, but am I really growing as a disciple of Christ? Sometimes I wonder if they got the wrong person to be in a leadership position. Sure, I’m faithful in attending corporate gatherings, stable as in I hardly gave my shepherds trouble (only because I try to manage the turmoil by myself), efficient and administrative in managing events and activities (these words in italics were the actual adjectives that people said of me in my face), but seriously, are these the right markers to look out for in a ministry servant?
I came across this words in a blog post on Desiring God and I think these are warnings that I should look out for:
“We must diligently guard against two ‘cardinal sins’ of leadership. The first is mistaking giftedness for spiritual maturity… … The second ‘cardinal sin’ of leadership is mistaking ‘fruitfulness’ for holiness.”
– Michael Oh, The Danger of “Fruitfulness” Without Purity
I won’t even say that I’m gifted or that my work is fruitful; I’m at most quick at work and I try to meet expectations where I can. But the real fruit must be that of a growing Christ-likeness, growth in holiness, i.e. being set apart for God, which is incidentally the meaning of my baptism name. Perhaps I can never ask myself too many times, am I really growing as a disciple of Christ?
Somehow, the older I get, the further I feel from the standard of God, the more I feel I can’t do His work. But perhaps that’s what God wants, an acknowledgement that ‘i can’t, but You can’.