No ‘it’s alright’

I had a pretty bad Wednesday morning this week. The eye clinic at the hospital was unexpectedly crowded, so mum and I waited quite a while for her turn. The waiting wasn’t that intolerable, but I guess the simmering within started when I had to go to the Geriatric clinic to retrieve the referral letters the doctor missed out the first time. Thinking about the costs for the various assessments and the time that these would take, I began to resent my dutifulness and others’ passiveness. But most of all, I was angry at myself, for my impatience and lack of love. The visit took longer than expected and I stretched my morning leave till 3pm. Thank God for an understanding boss who granted grace for this.

I didn’t want to join some sisters for a dinner appointment that night, given my not-so-good mood. But as I completed my work at almost 7pm, I decided to meet them as I could do with comfort food and listening ears. I was glad that I did. My words were received with empathy, and as I heard others share of their share of problems, my focus was off myself and we left thanking God for our growth through Word Meditation classes.

As I recalled that night, I realised that my sisters didn’t tell me ‘It’s alight’ when I shared about my lack of patience and love. I was expecting that phrase as words of comfort; I mean, it’s human to lose our patience under such circumstances, right? But they didn’t, and I’m glad that they didn’t. It’s easy to excuse our ungodly attitudes and behaviour displayed under duress, but that’s not Christ-like. Jesus didn’t respond to his oppressors with contempt, rancour or derision. He was long-suffering and sober-minded.

I suppose these are part of the trials that I have to endure to grow in perseverance and character. I still have much to learn from Jesus.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

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