In my desperation to be rid of this anxiety, I sought out many counsellors and even a therapist. By the grace of God, they’ve all helped me to uncover a bit of myself that I’ve suppressed or was unaware of:
- The inner child who’s lost, afraid and too tired to move ahead
- The daughter who fears disappointing her earthly father
- The individual who desires fulfillment but hangs onto money too tightly
- The one who’s afraid of being poor
- The self-critical believer who hates her weaknesses
- The performer who feels that being average will render her invisible
There’s actually so much good that has come out of this. I’ve now seen some hope as options emerge. Yet, I worry that I’ve missed the lesson. What’s the origin of the critical self? What am I trying to hide?
As I asked a sister to pray that I would see the light, she answered, I’ll pray you’ll see Jesus, who is the Way and the Truth and the Life (John 14:6).
Have I seen more of Him?